A poem, courtesy of @varkor:
Bastion of the Turbofish
Beware travellers, lest you venture into waters callous and unforgiving,
where hope must abandoned, ere it is cruelly torn from you. For here stands
the bastion of the Turbofish: an impenetrable fortress holding unshaking
against those who would dare suggest the supererogation of the Turbofish.
Once I was young and foolish and had the impudence to imagine that I could
shake free from the coils by which that creature had us tightly bound. I
dared to suggest that there was a better way: a brighter future, in which
Rustaceans both new and old could be rid of that vile beast. But alas! In
my foolhardiness my ignorance was unveiled and my dreams were dashed
unforgivingly against the rock of syntactic ambiguity.
This humble program, small and insignificant though it might seem,
demonstrates that to which we had previously cast a blind eye: an ambiguity
in permitting generic arguments to be provided without the consent of the
Great Turbofish. Should you be so naïve as to try to revolt against its
mighty clutches, here shall its wrath be indomitably displayed. This
program must pass for all eternity, fundamentally at odds with an impetuous
rebellion against the Turbofish.
My heart aches in sorrow, for I know I am defeated. Let this be a warning
to all those who come after. Here stands the bastion of the Turbofish.