stacker::grow() creates extra stack space for the closure passed, while still running it on the same thread, so if you want to take that approach then the call to the C++ library needs to be in the closure.
Since you mention threads, you may be running the C++ code in its own thread, in which case another way to set the stack size is to create the thread using std::thread::Builder and call stack_size().
I don't think libraries themselves store stack size information. If the C++ library is creating its own threads or otherwise adjusting stack size internally, then it would only be changeable if it provides support for that (maybe an environment variable or argument to a call into the library). The documentation of the library would be the place to look for that.